Since the inception of the event in 2009, the Northeastern men have dominated the Alumni Eight. The women's division has seen winners from Virginia, Brown, and Michigan in the last four years in times that would place their crews respectably in the Championship Eight. But not every entry boasts this record or the stacked talent listed in the Michigan women's line-up. The Alumni 8 is the most diverse event to make it on the row2k pick-em with a time difference of up to 7 minutes between first and last. We're guessing that some of these athletes might hit a wall in the warm-up, so we've created a playlist to get your potentially non-medal winning crew through the event. And we've added a little story to liven it up (listen to the playlist here).
Launching: Soulja Boy, Turn My Swag On
So we got these sick mesh tanks with a chupacabra screen-printed in neon on the sleeve. It wasn't our mascot but the mule graphic was unavailable.
The Warm-Up: One Republic, Counting Stars
We're young but we're not that young...
It's totally ok that three seat and stroke put their oars in backwards and that we accidentally picked seven starboards. I'm not all the sure which side I rowed in college anyway. We're going to be the darkhorse NESCAC program that beats Northeastern this year. And Brown! I mean, just because J. Koven is listed in their line-up doesn't mean it's the same dude.
Also I'm starting to think camping out on the Charles would be a good idea during a zombie apocalypse. Rule 1: Cardio.
The Basin: Warren G, Regulators
Ok, what's with the plastic handles on these things and why are there so many buoys? I feel like I'm in an agua-labyrinth.
It's still all right. I've got this and I'm amped. We made it to the starting chute and I'm only moderately concerned about the hot spot on my palm and the fact that our boat couldn't get through a high ten without crabbing. Ok fine, I caught the first one. But we're all a little rusty, right? No one really trained, right? Except maybe that guy stroking the Cal boat who was in the Olympics and the Michigan women's boat that passed us on the paddle in the warm-up.
The Starter is calling our boat to the line and it's like the rowing voice of god beckoning us toward the BU Boathouse and I just really hope it isn't actually Sean Wolf. I need to pee.
The Start: Britney, Work B**ch
I think we're already closing on the crew in front of us. No wait, they're behind us and they're closing. We definitely have a five part drive and this tank is starting to chafe.
Powerhouse & Weeks: Scissor Sisters, Only the Horses
I shouldn't be in the engine room. Who put me here? Is this a headwind? I could really use a snack. Probably should have skipped the BHP last night. How far is Hi-Fi pizza from FALS?
CBC Turn: TV on the Radio, Wolf Like Me
What was I thinking? This is terrible? My hands are so raw I'm gripping the oar with my wrists. Yes, that is physically possible. Why do people still do this? This isn't some turkey trot where everyone gets a finisher's medal and a drumstick. Everyone in the MIT Sloan boat we can't seem to pass looks as if they're suddenly questioning the ROI on their entry fee. Thankfully this is the darkest loneliest abyss on the race course and with no one watching we can drop the rate to a 22. This is still technically race pace and in our defense, we decided against dropping a pair out to grab water. I'm pretty sure the undergrads did that last year.
I mean, CBC is basically the finish, right?
Sprint: Avicii, Wake me Up
I always do this. I always assume the last 800 meters will just float by on some miraculous reserve of energy and fitness. Please let there be no cameras. Everything hurts. That 30 we hit coming through the bridge forcing Sloan into the abutment, it wasn't worth it. And, seriously, how many Harvard alumni entries are there?! These kids come out of nowhere and I think one is wearing a green man suit. Cinderella story if I ever saw one.
Whoever said it's only ten strokes from the boardwalk was full of lies.
The Cool-Down: Lady GaGa, Applause
Suddenly regretting that breather we took on the Eliot Turn when our coxswain informed us that our time was upwards of forever. But it's over and my relief tastes like a salty gingerbread Clif bar. It might take at least 36 hours for my body to unfurl into its standard lethargic position.
But let's row by sixes. We don't need any heroes in the cool-down. In yoga, I would be napping right now. In rowing, I just have to make it back to the dock and to Reunion Village for a tasty adult beverage. Because I'm an adult. Buzzfeed told me.
The recent grads can carry the boat.
Good luck to everyone racing next weekend! Be safe and make good decisions. It's dangerous out there.
Comments | Log in to comment |
There are no Comments yet
|